Recently I met a friend for lunch. She breezed in and we sat down in the booth and she asked me how my day had been. Without pausing I said, "Well, I've cried my makeup off twice today and my husband and I have been at odds, and altogether, it's not that good of a day." She heaved a huge sigh and said, "I'm so glad to hear you say that! I was a little afraid to see you today because you always have it together and I don't, and I had no idea what we were going to talk about! I'm so relieved!"
I was astounded. Someone was afraid to see me, to have lunch with me because I have it all TOGETHER?? Boy, did I have some things to think about. We ended up chatting for two hours and got to know each other better but I walked out of there a changed woman. In my attempt to be competent, to seem capable, was I really creating a false picture of "having it all together" to the point that women were intimidated by me? Hmmm....
I don't have any grand answers except to say I WANT to have it all together and sometimes strive to have it all together, but usually.....daily....I don't. I get angry. I sometimes yell. I lose things. I fail to send my kids to school with lunch money or the right forms filled out. I promise I'll iron shirts for my husband and they hang wrinkled in the closet. He irons them himself. I go to the grocery store to buy bananas and spend 100$ but come home without bananas! I mean to get organized but still can't find those receipts I need or the order form for team pictures. I want to make a healthy meal, but we end up eating sloppy joes and tater tots. I set out to read my Bible daily, but can't seem to make it happen, despite having umpteen Bibles in the house and apps on my iphone AND ipad. Most days I'm hopeless, yet my friend saw me as having it all together. Time to take my mask off, right?
I'm so grateful I serve the Lord who sees me for who I am and loves me despite my cobwebby house. I'm so thankful He promises to never leave me or forsake me, even if my son is the only kid who doesn't get a yearbook because I forgot to order one. God sees right through to the heart of me and because of His Son, Jesus Christ, He sees a righteous woman. The mask is off and I'm who I am...warts and all. I don't have it all together and I never will, but that's ok. I'm not scary perfect....how about you?
Wanna do lunch?