Thursday, April 21, 2011

We Are Weak But He Is Strong

Our family is going through the adoption process for siblings from Ethiopia. We started this journey in the summer of 2009 and we will be lucky if we complete it this year. Let me tell you this process is not for wimps. It is costly in time, emotions and money. We strongly felt God's leading even though we did not have the resources to pull off such a huge and costly endeavor. We had no idea what God was going to do but we began the process even though we barely had enough in our savings account to get through the first 3 steps.

After doing mounds of paperwork and legwork we finally got a completed home study and began our official wait to be matched with children from an orphanage. We waited and we waited. More then one year we waited. Then we got word that Ethiopia would be slowing down their international adoption process by 90%. We were devastated. Would we wait years longer? Would we EVER be matched with kids? Lord, what are you doing?
That night was very difficult for me and I couldn't sleep. I felt in my heart that there were 2 children in Africa who had our name written on their hearts but I was beginning to doubt that I would ever really get to them.
I had a heart to heart with God that night and basically threw my hands up and admitted that I had no control over this process. None. The fate of our adoption process was 100% in someone else's hands. God would have to finish this and I just had to trust Him.

Less then one week later we got the call we had been waiting over 20 months for. They had matched us! We are going to be the proud new parents of two beautiful little boys, ages 3 and 5. We are beyond excited and we saw with the timeline that had this process gone any faster these 2 particular little boys would not have been ours.

There is a verse in the bible that was written just for me. No kidding. It is Matthew 15:16 ' "Are you still so dull?" Jesus asked them.' Yep, that is my verse. How many times will God have to prove himself faithful to me before I learn to trust Him completely? Why does He have to bring me to the end of myself every time before I will give up my will? The most difficult financial and emotional part of our adoption is still yet to come but I have complete peace that His grace is sufficient and each day He will give to me what I need to get through it. Can I also tell you that so far we are over $20,000 into this process and every fee has been paid at the moment it was due. We have not yet had to take out a loan and we don't owe anyone any money for our adoption. Amazing!

I believe there is something beautiful about throwing your hands in the air and admitting to God that we are weak. We just can't do it. Isn't that where he wants us? Complete trust in Him. Aren't those the times we really see God work in our lives and we experience true rest? And how many times does he work things out even better then we even thought to ask for in the first place? His power is made perfect in our weakness.


  1. Heidi,
    I love the way you are so transparent and the verse that is just for you is just for me, too! I'm often to dull to see what God is doing or to understand how mighty He is. I'm going to be reminded in all of my challenging situations to throw my hands up and let the Lord have complete control. You've reminded me He knows what He's doing!

  2. Well said, Heidi; well said!!

  3. Heidi,
    Hope it's OK to post a comment on your account.

    Nearly 11 years together and I continue to find you amazing. Your words are so true. I have witnessed first hand the transforming of your life as you trust Him more. I'm proud of you and honored to be your husband. Love ya babe- Mark

  4. Heidi, Thanks so much for sharing your heart! I can so remember those nights of wondering how much longer we were going to wait and if it ever was going to happen. But God continued to whisper to our hearts even when we doubted & questioned. Now, we have Katelyn with us, but in many ways our journey is just beginning. I can say that God is SO faithful! Even now, He provides for us financially (and emotionally & spiritually!) in ways we never expected. When I start to worry about the future, He reminds me that He's in complete control and I just need to take today's step of obedience.
    So happy that your family has been matched with these two boys. Praying with you as you wait for that next step. Love in Christ, Pam :)

  5. Thank you so much for sharing your story of patience,perseverance and waiting on God's perfect timing.