Wednesday, July 13, 2011
I let it happen….I knew what I was doing…..I just let a small amount of “what if” happen….just one little thought and it mushroomed from there. Just like the latest, faster than light “monster roller coaster.” Can’t you feel it struggling up that steep angled incline only to reach the highest point and then to fling you down to your "death" (ha ha) faster than the speed of light so to speak? It takes your breath away…makes you cry out…makes you shut your eyes and pray that soon it will be over. At last the ride has ended and your shaky legs carry you to the platform and you promise yourself that you will never do that again. Yep…that is just what I always do when I let anxiety/worry/doubt get the upper hand. You would think at my age I would have learned a thing or two….oh no, I continue to return to old patterns of not trusting in the One who is in control of the world. And I return to misery of that self -inflicted monster ride the “Joy Stealer”.
That was more or less what was going on in my life late Thursday and into Friday. The “Joy Stealer” had my full attention with all of the “what ifs”. So my companions for the next day and a half were the " Joy Stealers", doubt, anxiety, worry”….etc. You get the picture.
I really had no need to feel this way since I had been praying, and so had a group of prayer warriors, for weeks before - not just the day of the events. There were several concerns that I had. The first one was Whitney. She was leaving for several weeks of study in England. Worry….would she be okay while gone. She had had some serious health issues and then her plane had just been delayed. The second one was Mattie, who had been on a turtle study in Belize and was due to arrive home later that night. Would her plane be on time? Would there be trouble with customs, etc? Three, our Lab, Shadow, had just had a tumor removed from his eye. Next worry…Whitney's flight to England was canceled until the next day. Now she would be traveling by herself, would arrive early on Saturday and would need to find a taxi and make her way to Kings College on her own. So there you have it. Could you ask for anymore Joy Stealers? You see, it was also my birthday but I sure did not feel like any celebration. You all must recognize that feeling in the pit of your stomach of anxiety. Yep, went to bed with that. About 2:30AM or so the Lord woke me up and said enough is enough! Don’t you realize I love her and I am in control? The rest of the night was very peaceful. Then in the morning as I was reading Scripture the Lord spoke to me again through several passages of Scripture.
Psalms 54:4 Surely God is my help; the Lord is the one who sustains me.
Proverbs 3:5 trust in the Lord with all your heart….
Philippians 4:5-7 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petitions …present your requests…and His peace will guard your hearts and minds.
And then again on Sunday with worship time. Breathe (Mercy Me)
This is the air I breathe
Your Holy presence living in me
This is my daily bread
Your very word spoken to me
And I, I’m desperate for You
And I, I’m lost without You.
Will I remember this lesson the next time the Joy Stealer arrives? I hope so!
PS. Mattie arrived home safe with many adventures to share.
Whitney made all of her connections. In fact when I called her house on Saturday I heard her voice on Skype. Yea! She is having a blast.
Shadow is doing great. And my husband has recovered from trying to make my birthday happen. PSS. There was a Joy Bringer on Friday my great nephew arrived early just in time for his Navy Dad to have some time with him before he deploys again at the end of July.
God Is So Good, so don’t let the Joy Stealer steal your joy!