Monday, July 16, 2012

Trust Me

I spend a lot of time awake in the middle of the night. Do you?  Everyone in the house is sleeping and my husband is gently breathing next to me, but I lie there awake.  Try as I might I can't get back to sleep and often I'm there for hours before drifting off.  Sometimes I get up and clean or read or pray.  It's an interesting but solitary existence, alone in a full house.

I suppose I'm a worrier.  I never thought of myself like that.  I always thought I was a happy go lucky kind of gal, roll with the punches, God will provide, etc.  Que Sera Sera, what will be will be.  I've found out differently and I roll worries around in my head like marbles in a box.  Some nights are better than others.

Recently our pastor preached about living in the now and not in the past where regrets linger, or in the future where we have no control.  It's such a simple concept yet such a difficult thing to do.  It requires trusting God for this moment, the only one that matters right NOW, and not kicking ourselves over things we can't undo or wringing our hands over things that may never happen.  So simple but so hard to change a mind that's like Times Square and the city that never sleeps.

I don't know what's going to happen with my children.  I don't know if they'll do well in school, get good jobs, marry nice ladies, have smart kids, follow Jesus faithfully....  I don't know if my husband will succumb to the Alzheimer's Disease that has ravaged his family. The thought terrifies me but I can't stop it if it's coming no more than I can stop the sun from rising.  But, I can trust that if it does happen, and he starts the long descent into oblivion, God Almighty will be there to walk with me through it.

So many questions but such a BIG God!  Thank you Father for loving us and walking with us through the dark nights and for promising to never leave us or forsake us.  We trust in YOU and praise YOU and give you our cares because you are willing to take them.

Psalm 9:10
 Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.

Psalm 56:3
When I am afraid, I will trust in you.
Isaiah 12:2
Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The LORD, the LORD, is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation."


  1. Thank you for sharing this, Paula! Will you sleep better tonight?? :o)

    1. I hope so, Cindy! I can't even blame John's snoring...or lack thereof!

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  3. Thanks Paula for sharing your thoughts. I remember a dear friend share with me- when I was having a lot sleepless nights (still do)- "That it is your turn to pray". She went on to say, "Just think that prayers are lifted up 24/7 all around the world His children, to our Almighty God- and HE
    hears them ALL." So when you are awake, my friend- God may be saying, "Dear one, it is your time to pray."

    Sweet dreams. :)