I was astounded. Someone was afraid to see me, to have lunch with me because I have it all TOGETHER?? Boy, did I have some things to think about. We ended up chatting for two hours and got to know each other better but I walked out of there a changed woman. In my attempt to be competent, to seem capable, was I really creating a false picture of "having it all together" to the point that women were intimidated by me? Hmmm....I don't have any grand answers except to say I WANT to have it all together and sometimes strive to have it all together, but usually.....daily....I don't. I get angry. I sometimes yell. I lose things. I fail to send my kids to school with lunch money or the right forms filled out. I promise I'll iron shirts for my husband and they hang wrinkled in the closet. He irons them himself. I go to the grocery store to buy bananas and spend 100$ but come home without bananas! I mean to get organized but still can't find those receipts I need or the order form for team pictures. I want to make a healthy meal, but we end up eating sloppy joes and tater tots. I set out to read my Bible daily, but can't seem to make it happen, despite having umpteen Bibles in the house and apps on my iphone AND ipad. Most days I'm hopeless, yet my friend saw me as having it all together. Time to take my mask off, right?
I'm so grateful I serve the Lord who sees me for who I am and loves me despite my cobwebby house. I'm so thankful He promises to never leave me or forsake me, even if my son is the only kid who doesn't get a yearbook because I forgot to order one. God sees right through to the heart of me and because of His Son, Jesus Christ, He sees a righteous woman. The mask is off and I'm who I am...warts and all. I don't have it all together and I never will, but that's ok. I'm not scary perfect....how about you?
Wanna do lunch?
Thanks for being real, Paula! I struggle with this, too. I mean, if we are completely transparent with everyone, won't that scare people away, too? Like you, I try to have it all together, but I know I don't.
ReplyDeleteGreat food for thought....
Paula,
ReplyDeleteI know that sometimes we aren’t really trying to purposely wear any masks, but our self-sufficient flesh can come across as we have it all together, even if we are struggling. It's great to be able to share ourselves the way you did at lunch with your friend and have someone to share our struggles with. This makes things that normally seem gigantic shrink to their real size. Thanks for sharing :)
Paula, I love you. Thank you for your honest open heart. Those masks are so easy to put on and so hard to take off.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much.
pam mccracken
Your post is a great reminder to all of us that is normal not to have it ALL together. I know I could relate to what you said. It is so nice when God gently lets us know what masks we are wearing and didn't even know it.
ReplyDeletefunny how we knock ourselves out to impress, when what people really want is to relate, not be impressed.
ReplyDeleteEverytime I think I have it together, something else happens to tear me apart. Thanks for sharing.....You have been so encouraging to me and I really appreciate it.
ReplyDeletesheila