I remember this picture as if it were yesterday, March, 1999, just a week or so after Megan was born. Look at these 2 beautiful lives we brought into this world! I remember feeling overwhelmed. Would I be as good a mom as my mom was? Would I be able to sit up nights with my daughters who had bad dreams, were sick, or just had a horrible break up with a boyfriend? Who will these tiny lives come to be?
I think as a mom one of my biggest concerns is making sure my daughters are happy, fulfilled, encouraged, and become who they strive to be, but who will that be? Back then I saw Hayley copying me with her baby doll as I nursed Megan and I thought, ah, she will be a great mommy some day! As they got a little bigger and started to play together I saw Hayley “teaching” Megan the alphabet–maybe she will be a teacher some day! A few years ago as my own mother went through the horrible experience of losing her leg I witnessed Megan, alone in the hospital room with grandma, feeding her some lunch, and loving on her in ways that only a granddaughter could love–she has the gift of compassion, love, and isn’t grossed out by blood, maybe she will be a nurse or doctor!
Both girls are now teenagers, Hayley (left) is in her first year of high school and will be 15 this summer, Megan (right) just turned 13 (that’s daddy Luke–my rock–in the middle). Both are craving more independence and for mom not to hover. While they are off being independent I am constantly worrying that they will get hurt or get into a situation where they need help. They go off on their own, and check back quite often (all I want is a text letting me know where they are – and for them to know that I can be there in a matter of minutes if they need me to be). It’s funny how I don’t want either of our daughters to fail, but look back on my own failings and realize that I actually learned from them. How do I just sit back when I see it coming and let it happen to them? How did my mom do it? Oh, how I wish my mom was around to ask her… I do remember asking my mom if the worrying ever stops–she assured me that no, it never stops, and then chuckled, “what you worry about changes, though.” I get that.
I strive daily to be an example of a loving wife and mother, and strong and independent woman. I want to set a good example for our daughters, praying that they will see they truly can be whatever they want to be, and with a loving and encouraging family, and a continued strong faith in God they can truly have it all.
“The LORD will fulfill His purpose for me; Your steadfast love, O LORD, endures forever.”
Psalm 138:8
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