She Will Drop Anything For Me

It took me a while to sit down and write this ... I mean, when Jeanne Whitman is your mom where exactly do you start?  I could say that my mom is selfless, but that would be a drastic understatement.  I could say that my mom has a servants heart, but that doesn't even scratch the surface!  I could tell you that my mom will do ANYTHING for ANYONE at ANY TIME, and you couldn't possibly understand how true that statement really is.  She quite literally never has her own interests in mind, and never asks for or expects anything in return for what she does.  That's just my mom :-)

I can remember the week I got married and was getting ready to move out of the house.  I suddenly got this feeling in my gut and thought ... what am I going to do now??  Who is going to take care of me when I'm sick?  Okay, if I wake up with the flu Joe is supposed to know what to do?  She was the kind of mom growing up that if you woke up with a tummy bug in the middle of the night, it was like she was already waiting up for you.  Bowl and washcloth in hand, ready to take care of you like only a mom could :-)  She would drop everything to bring your forgotten homework to you at school.  She might even let you stay at home "sick" every once in a while because you forgot to study for that big test ;-)  She was as involved as a mom very well could be, and always believed the best in all four of us (even when we didn't deserve it).   I really could go on and on ... but I have to send this!!

Mom, I love you SO VERY MUCH and I am so thankful that (according to my siblings) you chose to adopt me from that trash can in Africa ;-)  You're the best mom a girl could ask for ... Thank you mom - I love you!!

Missy

Deciding what to write in this post about my mom has been somewhat challenging.  There are too many things that I love about her to write in one blog J. 

My mom is Jeanne Whitman, who many of you know.  And, as many of you also know, she’s pretty darn awesome.  I’ve had the great joy of having her as my mom and wouldn’t trade her for the world.  I know God gave her to me for a special reason, the same reasons he made me a mom of two precious girls.  She taught me many things growing up – one of my earliest recollections was the difference between “screaming” and “SCREAMING!!!” (lol, I know she’ll laugh when she sees that!) I have already used that one on mine when accused of screaming J.

I was privileged to grow up in a very loving, Christian home – with parents who love God and love each other, and love their family.  When asked what I am most thankful for in my life, that is my response – I can’t imagine growing up and not knowing that Jesus died on the cross for ME, what a privilege.

My mom is one of the most amazing women that I know – and not just because she’s my mom.  I talk to her every day and sometimes more than once.  She knows everything about me (sometimes too much…) I can tell her anything and not be judged – although I will still get a “motherly” talk out of it (which I wouldn’t trade).  I know that I sometimes take for granted that she is here and I can talk to her anytime I want and see her anytime I want.  I know friends that rarely get to see their mom’s and I find it a privilege to have her so close.  She’s awesome for a multitude of reasons – she’s ALWAYS there for me, no matter what she’s doing or where she is – she’d drop anything she was doing if I needed her.  And, the more amazing thing is that she does it for anyone, not just me.  She was and still is everything a mom should be, love and grace.  And, many times showing grace when I don’t think I deserved it J.

Winner Of Our 2nd Giveaway!!

We had lots of folks commenting on the blog this last week, but the name drawn from the pot is none other than Karen Emkes.  She is the winner of the muffin cookbook and with three little boys, I'm sure it will come in handy.  Congratulations to you, Karen!!  

Our next giveaway is the book by Mary Beth Chapman, Choosing to See.  (Synopsis)Grief is a journey many of us take at one time or another. For the Chapman family their journey began with the accidental death of their 5 year old daughter, Maria Sue, whom they adopted from China. In Choosing to SEE, Mary Beth Chapman shares her struggles with the tragic loss of Maria Sue, her journey to heal, and the unexpected path God has placed her on. Even as difficult as life can be, Mary Beth and the Chapmans choose to see with faith and hope. 

Write your comments on the blog and we'll have a drawing next Monday morning.

God bless on this rainy Monday.

Best Friend

 Hannah Montgomery shares her thoughts on her mother, Terri Perdue.

Many times in my life I have thought about how much I would love to have a “Best Friend.” You know, that friend you’ve known for ages. The one that knows everything about you and has been with you through the ups and downs. The one you know you will never lose touch with because you are so connected and close that the idea of ever not being friends is just heart breaking. I mean, I have had some great friends at different times in my life. But none that I feel I have stayed connected with because of different paths that life took us on.

It seems to be something that always bothers me. I want it so bad! I search for it… I try to change to make it happen… I get upset when I find that this just isn’t the right person to label “Best Friend.” I mean, they are not easy to find! I got married right out of school instead of going to college so I lost touch with those school friends. I married someone a bit older than me so finding the right age group to hang out with is hard. Then I had a baby so that made me even older (though having a child does help you to connect with other young moms J who I hope will become those forever friends!) 

How exhausting to work so hard at finding a “Best Friend!” Then I got to thinking about those qualities in a best friend… Loving, always there for you, fun to hang out with, trustworthy, a shoulder to cry on, common interests, honest, supportive, accepting, etc. Now, who in my life has those qualities… wait… sounds familiar… I know there is someone…

Oh yeah! My MOM!

That’s one of those moments where you feel so stupid and you smack yourself in the head. How silly to have been searching for so long and trying so hard when it was right in front of me all along! I could find no better person to label “Best Friend” then my mother. She fits every requirement and then some! You may say, well she is your mom… she is kind of obligated to love you. Not true! There are people out there who do not have the kind of relationship with their mom that I do. People that may not have a relationship with their mom at all. She didn’t really choose me as a daughter…God did that for her… but she did choose to be my friend.

When I go shopping the first person I want to go with is mom. Hair cut, doctor’s appointment, weekend away, movies… my mom. The first person I call when I don’t feel good or I have a question about something Alexis is doing… my mom. The first person I go to when I am upset and really just need to vent and let out frustration… my mom. The first person to give me wisdom when there is a hard choice to be made… my mom. The one who makes me mad sometimes by letting me make mistakes and learn the hard way… my mom. The one I yell at, disrespect and hurt who quickly accepts the apology and moves on… my mom.

I have always known that my mom and I are close. But I did not truly understand a mother’s love until I had Alexis. To finally understand that my mom loves me that much is insane. I did not know that type of love was possible until I could feel it for my own daughter. It’s refreshing and spectacular and scary and exhausting all at once! I feel blessed to have a mother who has that love for me and who has chosen to be not only an amazing mother but a Best Friend as well. I just hope that I can follow her example when raising Alexis and any other future children there may be.

Mom, I love you so much and I thank you for making the choice to have me… to love me… to take care of me… to show me how to be a wife and a mother… and to be my best friend.

Happy Mother’s Day, Best Friend! J

Life Lessons

Daniel Porter writes about his mom, Hyechong.

 My mother is one of the two most influential people in my life. She is always there for me whether I want it or not and sticks by my side when I'm starting to fall down. 
She is an awesome cook, cooking dishes from all over the world: anywhere from Korean dishes to Mexican dishes, and the occasional American dish. 
As well, she is easily one of the most knowledgeable people when it comes to the handling of kids. I have learned all that I know from her and more and still there is more that she knows. It really helps know that my sister Hannah and I are going to be heading the teaching of Sunday School rather than them. 
A nice thing, though, is that she knows how to be strict with us when necessary and won't let us off easily. A lot of my life lessons have been taught by her and I continue to follow them to this day. 
My mother is just a great person and I am so lucky that God has blessed me with a kind and loving mother like her.

Sharing Funny Moments

Nicole Smith writes about her mother, Elaine.

My mom and I have a relationship that most teenagers wouldn’t even think of having with their mothers. When we are together, it is a guaranteed great time whether it’s jammin’ to Christian music or laughing until we start crying. I don’t know where I’d be without her. Sure, we both have our blonde moments, but that’s what makes our relationship so great!
As an example, one night after I was watching a Washington Redskins game at my grandparent’s house, I rode home with my mom and started discussing this catch that Anthony Armstrong made for a game winning touchdown. I said, “Man, I don’t know how Armstrong caught that ball!” Without any hesitation, my mom says, “Because he’s arm, strong!” Something as simple as that brought tears to my eyes from laughing. This is just one of many stories that show why I love my mom so very much!

Final Words

I learned the sign for the word "independent" yesterday from my friend Karen Emkes.  She was using it in regards to her youngest, Micah, but I filed it away in my mind for myself.  I was born an independent little thing and it proved to be somewhat of a wedge between my mother and me.  She had longed for a little girl to spoil and dress in frilly things, and what she got was me.  Don't touch me, let me play in the dirt, and I'm perfectly fine on my own.  Broke her heart, I think.  But, she forged on and throughout my life we battled over her desire to hug and contain and my desire to do my own thing....go my own way.  We loved each other, but it wasn't always pretty....there were intense moments of angry voices, tears, and it was often a sheer battle of wills, but still we loved each other.

Two years ago, my mother passed away at the age of 87.  She had been quite healthy her entire life, but cancer  is that awful thief that creeps into the bodies of our loved ones and snatches the life from them.  She fought a good fight, but it was not meant for her to live longer, and the Lord called her home.  She had been unconscious for days as we sat by her bed stroking her hands and wetting her lips, singing her favorite hymns and waiting for the inevitable.  She died on a Monday, but that last Sunday was God's gift to me.

For a few months, Mom had been out of her head, talking all sorts of rambling thoughts and not recognizing us. She had wild moments where she imagined herself somewhere else and nothing would calm her, no words would soothe.  Her last full day on earth was different. She woke up and knew people.  My niece Erica had spent the night by her side and when we arrived in the morning, Mom was awake and the two of them were deep in "conversation", Erica talking and mom doing her best to talk back.  Amazed is the only way to describe how we felt as she stayed awake for the day.  Her 94 year old sister came and they sang hymns together....so bittersweet to see Aunt Irby, the older one, saying goodbye to her baby sister.

I made my way over to Mom.  She had not known me for months, not really.  I leaned over her bed, wet her lips and gazed down on the woman I had battled over the years...the one who had longed for hugs and got  Miss Independent instead.  With her filmy eyes, she looked up at me, and said, "Paula, I love you!"   SHE KNEW ME and at the end of her days, her very last full day, she told me in those 4 words what had always been in her heart.

I miss my mother with everything that is in me.  I would love to sit on the porch swing with her and let her hold my hand...the one thing she often wanted to do, but the one thing that was so hard for me to let her do.  I would love to apologize for the many times I spoke angry words to her, but you know something?  She told me with her dying words how she felt.....She Loves Me.....and I know all is forgiven.

If you still have your mother, hug her today and tomorrow and every day she is with you.  Hold her hand and let her play with your hair.  Give her the time she desires and treasure up the moments while you can.  Don't wait, please don't wait.

Travel Buddies

In some ways my mom and I are very different from each other. She has blue eyes and blond hair (well, it used to be blond… now it’s more… um, never mind). I have brown hair and hazel eyes. She, obviously, got married and had a child. I’m trying to avoid both. She doesn’t really like my cat (though she tries hard and pretends well, which is one reason I love her). I think my cat is pretty cool. She can’t be sarcastic to save her life. Sarcasm is my main form of communication – if we ever blog about fathers, I can talk more about that.

However, in other ways, my mom and I are pretty similar, sharing much more between us than a few strands of DNA. We were born in the same month. We can both be very shy with people we don’t know. We have similar tastes in music and movies and television. We both love to read and take pictures.

When I was young, my mom did what all great moms do – loved me and took care of me. How moms do that for their children varies, so my mom probably did things differently than your mom, but they worked for us. Now that I’m older, she still loves me and takes care of me, it’s just different. Now she’s still “mom” when I need “mom,” but she’s also one of my best friends. I know some mothers and daughters can have difficult relationships with each other, but I think my mom and I are lucky in that those differences and similarities somehow mesh well and have allowed us to enjoy being together.

I could list a thousand things that I love about my mom and our relationship, but to spare you, I want to focus on specific thing that I think helped define our relationship when I was younger and continues to grow our relationship now: our Mother/Daughter Trips.

I can’t remember exactly when they started – I think I was about 10 – but since then, every year my mom and I go on a trip together. Depending on financial situations and availability, sometimes it’s a quick weekend at Hershey or Shenandoah, and other times we’ve splurged for a longer trip like a week in South Dakota. These trips started as an opportunity for mom and I to spend quality time together, have “the talk,” discuss things that girls need to know about growing up and being godly women, my attitude problems, or just anything else that came to mind. Sometimes it was awkward, but it really showed my mom’s love for me. And adding in a cool roller coaster or something helped ease the pain. As I’ve gotten older, we still talk. We have discussions about problems and struggles or goals and ideas... my attitude problems... or just the nice scenery we’re passing.  But we talk more as equals now. It’s like the discussions I have with my friends, but with little motherly touches, which is good; just because we're more like friends now, doesn't mean I'd ever want her to stop being my mom.

For each trip we took, my mom would search and find a charm to buy. On my 30th birthday, she gave them to me. The original plan was to put them all on charm bracelet as a reminder of our trips together, but I don’t really wear jewelry, so we’re looking for some way to make a nice display with them, so I can always be reminded of the times we had together on those trips. Just opening the present, I took each charm out and one-by-one we remembered each trip.

This isn’t to say that going on vacation together is the only way to spend time together. We also go shopping together, hang out with friends, or even just watch TV. Sometimes she shows up at my door just to give me a hug after I’ve had a horrible day. But I think these trips have helped us forge a special bond with each other, and I thank God that she took the time and energy to do them with me.

And by the way, this year’s trip is Tennessee! Woohoo!