Life Lessons

Daniel Porter writes about his mom, Hyechong.

 My mother is one of the two most influential people in my life. She is always there for me whether I want it or not and sticks by my side when I'm starting to fall down. 
She is an awesome cook, cooking dishes from all over the world: anywhere from Korean dishes to Mexican dishes, and the occasional American dish. 
As well, she is easily one of the most knowledgeable people when it comes to the handling of kids. I have learned all that I know from her and more and still there is more that she knows. It really helps know that my sister Hannah and I are going to be heading the teaching of Sunday School rather than them. 
A nice thing, though, is that she knows how to be strict with us when necessary and won't let us off easily. A lot of my life lessons have been taught by her and I continue to follow them to this day. 
My mother is just a great person and I am so lucky that God has blessed me with a kind and loving mother like her.

Sharing Funny Moments

Nicole Smith writes about her mother, Elaine.

My mom and I have a relationship that most teenagers wouldn’t even think of having with their mothers. When we are together, it is a guaranteed great time whether it’s jammin’ to Christian music or laughing until we start crying. I don’t know where I’d be without her. Sure, we both have our blonde moments, but that’s what makes our relationship so great!
As an example, one night after I was watching a Washington Redskins game at my grandparent’s house, I rode home with my mom and started discussing this catch that Anthony Armstrong made for a game winning touchdown. I said, “Man, I don’t know how Armstrong caught that ball!” Without any hesitation, my mom says, “Because he’s arm, strong!” Something as simple as that brought tears to my eyes from laughing. This is just one of many stories that show why I love my mom so very much!

Final Words

I learned the sign for the word "independent" yesterday from my friend Karen Emkes.  She was using it in regards to her youngest, Micah, but I filed it away in my mind for myself.  I was born an independent little thing and it proved to be somewhat of a wedge between my mother and me.  She had longed for a little girl to spoil and dress in frilly things, and what she got was me.  Don't touch me, let me play in the dirt, and I'm perfectly fine on my own.  Broke her heart, I think.  But, she forged on and throughout my life we battled over her desire to hug and contain and my desire to do my own thing....go my own way.  We loved each other, but it wasn't always pretty....there were intense moments of angry voices, tears, and it was often a sheer battle of wills, but still we loved each other.

Two years ago, my mother passed away at the age of 87.  She had been quite healthy her entire life, but cancer  is that awful thief that creeps into the bodies of our loved ones and snatches the life from them.  She fought a good fight, but it was not meant for her to live longer, and the Lord called her home.  She had been unconscious for days as we sat by her bed stroking her hands and wetting her lips, singing her favorite hymns and waiting for the inevitable.  She died on a Monday, but that last Sunday was God's gift to me.

For a few months, Mom had been out of her head, talking all sorts of rambling thoughts and not recognizing us. She had wild moments where she imagined herself somewhere else and nothing would calm her, no words would soothe.  Her last full day on earth was different. She woke up and knew people.  My niece Erica had spent the night by her side and when we arrived in the morning, Mom was awake and the two of them were deep in "conversation", Erica talking and mom doing her best to talk back.  Amazed is the only way to describe how we felt as she stayed awake for the day.  Her 94 year old sister came and they sang hymns together....so bittersweet to see Aunt Irby, the older one, saying goodbye to her baby sister.

I made my way over to Mom.  She had not known me for months, not really.  I leaned over her bed, wet her lips and gazed down on the woman I had battled over the years...the one who had longed for hugs and got  Miss Independent instead.  With her filmy eyes, she looked up at me, and said, "Paula, I love you!"   SHE KNEW ME and at the end of her days, her very last full day, she told me in those 4 words what had always been in her heart.

I miss my mother with everything that is in me.  I would love to sit on the porch swing with her and let her hold my hand...the one thing she often wanted to do, but the one thing that was so hard for me to let her do.  I would love to apologize for the many times I spoke angry words to her, but you know something?  She told me with her dying words how she felt.....She Loves Me.....and I know all is forgiven.

If you still have your mother, hug her today and tomorrow and every day she is with you.  Hold her hand and let her play with your hair.  Give her the time she desires and treasure up the moments while you can.  Don't wait, please don't wait.

Travel Buddies

In some ways my mom and I are very different from each other. She has blue eyes and blond hair (well, it used to be blond… now it’s more… um, never mind). I have brown hair and hazel eyes. She, obviously, got married and had a child. I’m trying to avoid both. She doesn’t really like my cat (though she tries hard and pretends well, which is one reason I love her). I think my cat is pretty cool. She can’t be sarcastic to save her life. Sarcasm is my main form of communication – if we ever blog about fathers, I can talk more about that.

However, in other ways, my mom and I are pretty similar, sharing much more between us than a few strands of DNA. We were born in the same month. We can both be very shy with people we don’t know. We have similar tastes in music and movies and television. We both love to read and take pictures.

When I was young, my mom did what all great moms do – loved me and took care of me. How moms do that for their children varies, so my mom probably did things differently than your mom, but they worked for us. Now that I’m older, she still loves me and takes care of me, it’s just different. Now she’s still “mom” when I need “mom,” but she’s also one of my best friends. I know some mothers and daughters can have difficult relationships with each other, but I think my mom and I are lucky in that those differences and similarities somehow mesh well and have allowed us to enjoy being together.

I could list a thousand things that I love about my mom and our relationship, but to spare you, I want to focus on specific thing that I think helped define our relationship when I was younger and continues to grow our relationship now: our Mother/Daughter Trips.

I can’t remember exactly when they started – I think I was about 10 – but since then, every year my mom and I go on a trip together. Depending on financial situations and availability, sometimes it’s a quick weekend at Hershey or Shenandoah, and other times we’ve splurged for a longer trip like a week in South Dakota. These trips started as an opportunity for mom and I to spend quality time together, have “the talk,” discuss things that girls need to know about growing up and being godly women, my attitude problems, or just anything else that came to mind. Sometimes it was awkward, but it really showed my mom’s love for me. And adding in a cool roller coaster or something helped ease the pain. As I’ve gotten older, we still talk. We have discussions about problems and struggles or goals and ideas... my attitude problems... or just the nice scenery we’re passing.  But we talk more as equals now. It’s like the discussions I have with my friends, but with little motherly touches, which is good; just because we're more like friends now, doesn't mean I'd ever want her to stop being my mom.

For each trip we took, my mom would search and find a charm to buy. On my 30th birthday, she gave them to me. The original plan was to put them all on charm bracelet as a reminder of our trips together, but I don’t really wear jewelry, so we’re looking for some way to make a nice display with them, so I can always be reminded of the times we had together on those trips. Just opening the present, I took each charm out and one-by-one we remembered each trip.

This isn’t to say that going on vacation together is the only way to spend time together. We also go shopping together, hang out with friends, or even just watch TV. Sometimes she shows up at my door just to give me a hug after I’ve had a horrible day. But I think these trips have helped us forge a special bond with each other, and I thank God that she took the time and energy to do them with me.

And by the way, this year’s trip is Tennessee! Woohoo!

Always Around

Mystique Ro loves how her mother Nicole is there when she needs her.

My mother is always around just at the moment I need her

she watched me get hosed down by my brothers on the deck

she marveled at me as I flipped a bike over my head and crashed on the pavement

she bandaged my elbow when I scraped it on the sidewalk

she made soup for me when I got my braces and couldn't chew

My mother is always around at the moment I need her

she laughed with me when we saw funny videos
she hugged me when I was feeling really low
she talked to me when I needed wise words
she encouraged me when I doubted myself.

My mother is always around at the moment I need her because she always supported me when I felt like I was alone, and she always will.

Adoptive Love

        Being a mom involves your whole heart.  Our children are among the most precious gifts that God has given to us .   We love our kids with all we have and with that love comes sacrifice and vulnerability.   Adopting mommies are no exception.   God grows a love in our hearts for children who were not born from us, but capture our whole hearts just the same.  At the beginning it is just the idea of them that we love.  And then we get to that spectacular, long awaited moment where we receive a picture and a description of that special one who is to be ours.  A moment that takes our breath away and that we will never forget.   Then a truly agonizing wait begins as we are forced to watch this beautiful child,  OUR beautiful child,  grow and hit milestones from afar as we work and wait for the day when we get to take them in our arms forever and bring them home.
 A dear friend and a wonderful mommy in our church, Jennifer Blaschke, is experiencing this right now.  She is to be the mommy of 4 soon.  3 are home but 1 is very far away.  A sweet baby boy in Uganda is waiting for his mommy to come and take him home.    And his mommy is waiting, waiting, her heart so full and ready, to go and get him.

The Blaschke family is having a fundraiser this Saturday, May 12th, at the Chick-fil-A on Rt. 28 (Sowder Village Square next to Red Robin and Target) to help raise money for their adoption process.   From 7:30am - 2pm there will be a large yard sale in the parking lot with all kinds of great items available.  You can also help by eating inside from 11-2 and they will get a portion of the proceeds if you grab a coupon flyer on the counter and give it to the cashier.   Please come out and help support this awesome family!!  This Mother's Day weekend every one of us can be a part of this beautiful story that God is writing. 

Ten things you need to know about my Mama

About Cindy Hagenhoff

By Benjamin Hagenhoff age 5

1.        My mama takes me to church and prays with me each night.

2.       My mama always cheers me on at my soccer games.  She tells me I am the best.

3.       She even plays hockey with me.

4.       Sometimes when I have a play day with a friend she brings donut holes for us to share.

5.       I love it when she makes cheesy noodles and her homemade mac and cheese.

6.       On my birthday I get to choose what kind of dinner and cake I would like.  One year she made a Thomas train cake for me.  It was really cool.

7.       I love it when my mama reads to me and has cuddle time with me.

8.       I like to help her with chores like laundry and going to the grocery.

9.       She is pretty.

10.    I know that she loves me sooo much because she tells me so.

                                                Love,

                                                Ben